If you read my last post (see it here) you will know that I am in the midst of a deep spiritual clearing out. Letting go of old stuff, old patterns, old limiting beliefs is hard work and today I woke up feeling heavy with it. I am also feeling so much with all of the intensity in the world right now, the naked racism, the events in Barcelona (one of my happy places), and now the devastation in Texas. My dreams last night were full of disaster and Houston and raging at misogynistic white supremacists. Yikes, no wonder I felt like a lead weight this morning!
I’ve committed to blogging weekly and today’s the day, but I sure as heck didn’t want to lay down all of that heavy negative energy here! So I did what I always do, pulled a card for some guidance. But before I did that, I did some breathing and stretching to feel into my body. I feel so much more connected to my intuition when I am grounded in my body first. I am planning an e-course focusing on guidance from animals so I used the Wild Unknown Animal Spirit Deck, and this sweet otter popped out of the deck! What a benevolent and loving guide!
Immediately tears came to my eyes and I wept. Otter is a water card (connected with feelings), and the first message I “heard” was to let it flow – I had been holding on so much to my feelings about the world and my own life that they were weighing me down. It’s totally appropriate to have all of these feelings, my problem was that I was stuffing them down and not actually feeling them. I’m not saying that it’s a picnic to feel the hard feelings – sorrow, grief, and rage. But it is necessary to feel them, to let them flow, or they get bottled up inside and drain our energy.
The second message I received from otter was to remember to have joy in my life – to dance and sing and play! Life has to have some balance. If I am so dragged down by what is going on around me how can I be the mother, wife, daughter, friend, spiritual guide that want to be? I want to be able to direct my resources, time and energy towards conscious change on this planet, which I can only do if I am living a balanced life and actually have energy. I need to fill up my own tank first. And this morning once I felt my feelings, and gave them some space, I had room and energy to dance and play. I danced around my living room to this, and then this. I feel much better now, otter gave me the medicine I needed. I’m going to make some time and space to play with art today as well (and you know how much that fills me if you’ve read this)!
I’m leaving you with a little video of the sweetness, intelligence, and loving qualities of otters. I hope you can also receive the medicine you need from these wonderful creatures!
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Oh WOW, I not only needed that video but also your wise words in your blog. How true this has been for me over the past year and a half. I am sure much of the anxiety I have been feeling is due to not allowing myself to feel the emotions over the situation I have been in. It is hard to let go of or relearning how to let yourself feel after a childhood that taught me not to feel or allow feelings to show which my child person interpreted that I shouldn’t feel these things so I buried them deep. The past year and half has been about learning to uproot everything and find ways to change the old habits which are damaging emotionally. Indeed it is hard work. Thanks for posting and sharing your post on Facebook where I found it first. ❤ ~Patti
Thanks so much for your comment Patti! I’m so glad these words were helpful and I’m so sorry you’ve been going through the hard stuff. It is really really necessary and good work though, and know that I’m right there with you! 💖
Dear Monica — I always love hearing your wise words — expressed in such a loving, beautiful way. I was so beating myself up yesterday afternoon and really had to allow myself breathe and feel what I was feeling. This is such a good reminder that it’s Ok & good to do. Thank you for sharing! Xox
Thanks so much Lisa! I think a lot of us are in the same boat! Luckily we have each other to remind us about feelings and balance and being kind to ourselves! xoxo
I don’t think I replied to your wonderful comment Lisa! I totally know that place of beating myself up!! So glad you were able to move through and hold yourself in compassion! It’s super important and I think we all need these reminders!🙏💗